Daddy needs his diaper changed.

To the embarrassment of most mothers, wives, girlfriends, or females in general, boys are proud of the potency of their internally produced methane. For millennia, women have been trying, unsuccessfully I might add, to eradicate the necessity of males to pass gas. Although they have not succeeded, they have, for the most part, turned it into an improper response to the belly rumble. Now days, you must "hold it in" until there is nobody around, thereby defeating the purpose of a really powerful display of flatual prowess. The only time that such a display is permissible in public, at least by most male's standards, is when you are with "the boys", in which case the general I.Q. totals to 10. (one for each guy, or two if you have a real brainer in the group).

Now that I have prefaced this story and the mood is set, I must let you know that my son is well on his way to becoming just like dad. As anybody who knows me can attest to, I have what most would call a "sensitive stomach". I myself call it hours of uncomfortable entertainment. I was walking to an accounting class one day and had a particularly entertaining tummy. Being the polite person that I am, I quickly glanced around to ascertain the whereabouts of any other lifeforms. Seeing none, I decided that it was time for a good personal laugh. Oh what a good time I had. What seemed like hours of heavenly bliss, really turned out to be a few beautiful seconds of auditory pleasure. That is until I heard the tittering giggles of an attractive junior behind me. Obviously I hadn't scanned the area thoroughly enough. Although I was a bit embarrassed, I new that if I just kept walking, I would never see this person again.

A couple hours later, with that moment of social destruction behind me, I walked into my advanced accounting coarse. As fate, karma, or sheer dumb luck would have it, who else would be in the class? None other than the attractive junior that had walked through my moment of indiscretion. Nothing more needs to be said. She laughed and pointed and I blanked out the rest of the day because of the emotional trauma I suffered when I realized it was her.

A second defining moment in my life occurred about an hour ago. Tannie, Austin and I were sitting down watching a movie and eating fast-food. Obviously, all the junk caused a little rumbly in my tumbly. After letting off a little of the internal pressure, Austin, at the direction of Tannie. proceeded to push up my shirt, pull back the wasteband of my pants and see if daddy needed his diaper changed.

Moral of the stories? Look both ways before passing gas and always have a spare diaper so that your son can change you in case of an accident.

futboldan (a.k.a. SBD)