I am surprised by what I do and don't know
Ten Things I Don't Know:
1. I don't know how much water I can put in my mouth before it starts dribbling down my chin, but it would be really helpful if I did.
2. I don't know how to play a musical instrument other than the nose harmonica.
3. I don't know why boys think bodily noises are funny.
4. I don't know why the oldest girl in Narnia makes me want to strangle myself and then set myself on fire.
5. I don't know how my little brother was able to get a hold of the "Dumbies guide to making Dan insane before the age of 16" manual. As far as I know, he had the only copy.
6. I don't know how my wife doesn't stab me with a spoon or anything else that is near at hand when I decide that it's "Let's bug Tannie time."
7. I don't know how Austin, my son, can be such a cool little kid, but be MY son. I know what I was like as a little kid.
8. I don't know how the little nerdy kid with the toothpick body frame and parted hair became this strapping young lad that writes such witty blogs.
9. I really don't know how I became so humble.
10. The last thing I don't know is what I don't know.
Ten Things I Do Know:
1. I know that if you yell "don't look", everybody within earshot will turn to see why they shouldn't look.
2. I know that yawns are contagious. If you watch somebody yawn, you will end up yawning also.
3. I also know that when changing a little boy's diaper, cold air will always get a reaction and that your face isn't necessarily the best thing to block that reaction with.
4. I know that little babies are devious creatures and that they purposefully spit up on your best silk ties.
5. I know that my wife is the best kisser in the universe.
6. I know that the last thing I said made everybody but my wife a little embarrassed and that it made my wife really embarrassed.
7. I know that it really hurts to wax your chest.
8. I know that even an 18-year old can get his head stuck under a bed.
9. I know that flatulence is just natures way of letting people know that their noses still work.
10. Lastly, I know that if your bum cheeks went left to right instead of up and down, slides would be a lot less fun and make flapping sounds instead of squeaking ones.
Yes, I even know that everybody reading this blog is overwhelmed by the breadth of my knowledge. For those of you that feel a lack of knowledge after reading this blog, don't fret, even you can aspire to these heights.
Dan Smith (a.k.a. Big Brain)
1. I don't know how much water I can put in my mouth before it starts dribbling down my chin, but it would be really helpful if I did.
2. I don't know how to play a musical instrument other than the nose harmonica.
3. I don't know why boys think bodily noises are funny.
4. I don't know why the oldest girl in Narnia makes me want to strangle myself and then set myself on fire.
5. I don't know how my little brother was able to get a hold of the "Dumbies guide to making Dan insane before the age of 16" manual. As far as I know, he had the only copy.
6. I don't know how my wife doesn't stab me with a spoon or anything else that is near at hand when I decide that it's "Let's bug Tannie time."
7. I don't know how Austin, my son, can be such a cool little kid, but be MY son. I know what I was like as a little kid.
8. I don't know how the little nerdy kid with the toothpick body frame and parted hair became this strapping young lad that writes such witty blogs.
9. I really don't know how I became so humble.
10. The last thing I don't know is what I don't know.
Ten Things I Do Know:
1. I know that if you yell "don't look", everybody within earshot will turn to see why they shouldn't look.
2. I know that yawns are contagious. If you watch somebody yawn, you will end up yawning also.
3. I also know that when changing a little boy's diaper, cold air will always get a reaction and that your face isn't necessarily the best thing to block that reaction with.
4. I know that little babies are devious creatures and that they purposefully spit up on your best silk ties.
5. I know that my wife is the best kisser in the universe.
6. I know that the last thing I said made everybody but my wife a little embarrassed and that it made my wife really embarrassed.
7. I know that it really hurts to wax your chest.
8. I know that even an 18-year old can get his head stuck under a bed.
9. I know that flatulence is just natures way of letting people know that their noses still work.
10. Lastly, I know that if your bum cheeks went left to right instead of up and down, slides would be a lot less fun and make flapping sounds instead of squeaking ones.
Yes, I even know that everybody reading this blog is overwhelmed by the breadth of my knowledge. For those of you that feel a lack of knowledge after reading this blog, don't fret, even you can aspire to these heights.
Dan Smith (a.k.a. Big Brain)
posted by futboldan at 1:14 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home